I'm Here
by LambdaBern
Summary: The start of a new world by no means makes the pain of previous worlds disappear, ever. SatoRika. Suicide, self harm, drinking, and abuse warnings.


''Rika, that's your fifth glass now...you should really stop, au au...''

''Shut up. Leave me alone. Whether you're sick to your stomach or are just worried about me, I don't care. I want to be alone.''

Rika said the words through gritted teeth and anyone could tell she was angrier than ever. Hanyuu realized it was useless and faded away, scared to make Rika even angrier to the point of yelling.

It wasn't about how Hanyuu felt; she really was worried for Rika's well being and all the alcohol seemed to be just worsening Rika's mood. She had just gone through the most awful world yet and the next time she woke up it was already night time in this world. She had not even bothered looking at the calendar or anything, she got up from bed and went straight to the cabinet where she hid her wine.

She just kept drinking and drinking, clenching and unclenching her fists. She spilled one glass and almost screamed, but kept her cool as it would wake up Satoko.

Satoko...Satoko...Satoko...

In the last world she had just been in...Teppei had killed Satoko and ran off.

After five days of being absent instead of the usual three, and no Teppei calling in, Chie finally went to check on her. No one answered the door, but it was unlocked and Chie went in. Then she called the police.

Satoko had died due to strangulation as the police said, and Chie announced it through her sobbing to the class after she finally came back after more than an hour later.

The class went silent, and then the younger kids started wailing loudly. Mion ran up to Chie, grabbing her by the shoulders and violently shaking her. She screamed at her to stop with the jokes, and both her and Rena sobbed as Rena tried to pull her off.

Rika just stared at her desk, feeling numb as the tears poured out.

She didn't even know why he had killed her and how he could ever do it. He was disgusting enough before but...but this was the first time he had killed her...why...why...? Rika was dying to know why it even happened. Was this just a random whim of his in this world? She had always thought he was too cowardly to ever do something as murder her. But, but...then again Keiichi always killed him anyway...

That was when Keiichi screamed after just staring ahead in shock for a few minutes. He pushed his desk over and ran over to the lockers, opening and punching them till his fists were bleeding. Everyone just looked at him, and everyone was too terrified to stop him. Rika continued to just stare at her desk.

Finally, Keiichi came across Satoshi's locker and his bat. He took it, laughing like a maniac for a while. All the other kids were now behind Chie, Rena and Mion. They tried to call to Rika to come over to them too, but Rika just stayed there, not even really hearing them.

Keiichi started smashing the lockers with the bat, screaming and crying till he finally collapsed in exhaustion. Rika walked over to him, and patted his head. He flinched wildly at the touch, but didnt move away.

Then, Rika spoke, ''I know you want to kill him, but it's useless, you know.''

Keiichi snapped his head to look at her, anger and insanity in his eyes.

''How...did you know I was thinking of that...?'' He picked up the bat and got up, pointing it at her. ''Are you going to stop me?''

Rika suddenly laughed and got up, causing Keiichi to step back, but he did not stop pointing the bat at her.

''Stop you...? No, as if I could...I'm just telling you...it's useless...ahaha...haha...''

Keiichi was shocked at her deeper voice, but spoke angrily, ''What do you mean it's useless...?''

Rika looked at him, pissed off.

''I mean what I said, you idiot. You can kill him now too, but Satoko is already dead. So it's really pointless...hee hee.. yes...yes...it's pointless...as always...even when she wasn't dead already it was pointless...''

''It...it's not pointless!'' Keiichi screamed at her. ''Satoko may be dead, but I won't let her death be in vain...I'm going to find that bastard...I'm going to find that piece of shit and I'm going to kill him for killing Satoko!''

Rena was comforting some of the kids who were still crying, especially because of their fear of Keiichi. Inside she was thinking about helping Keiichi...

But Mion spoke up. ''Kei-chan...c-calm down...''

''Shut up! How am I supposed to calm down?! Do you just want the police to find him and lock him up?! Him rotting in jail isn't enough! He needs to suffer, he needs to be murdered, he needs to go through worse than what he did to Satoko! It's only fair!''

Mion looked down, hurt at his tone...but she was unable to argue with him.

''I don't care what any of you do...do as you want...'' Rika spoke again. ''But this world is doomed...yet again...I don't care about any of you or this world anymore...I'm gonna look for the next Hinamizawa...ahahaha...! But it'll just fail again! But at least Satoko will be there...'' Rika laughed madly, beginning to sob again.

Keiichi walked to the door of the classroom. ''I don't understand any of your talk, but I don't care either! I'm gonna find him and murder him.''

Rena ran after him, her pupils in thin slits. ''I'll come too, Keiichi-kun...I agree with you completely...we can't get the happy days back, anymore, but...we can still kill him...''

''Rena, don't tell me you've gone mad too?!''

''Mi-chan...help us...why don't you help your friends? You can make it up to Satoshi now, you know...''

''R-Rena...''

Rika had already slipped past them all and out the door at this point, everyone too worried about Keiichi and Rena to notice, and Rena and Keiichi too mad to notice her.

She walked for a while, still vaguely hearing the three old friends arguing. Then, she began running, not stopping for anything. Through the halls, out the door. She tripped and cut up her arms, but got back up. She was heading for Satoko's house, wanting to see her one more time.

Of course, the police were still there. It was pointless to come here.

One of the officers, Kumagai, saw her.

''Ah, you there! This is no place for kids! This is a crime scene! Shouldn't you be in school?''

Ooishi came over to them to see what the commotion was all about. ''Ah, Rika-chama...!''

His look said he knew why she was here. Rika just glared at them and figured they would not let her in the house, so she ran off again, back to her own house.

''Ah, wait-'' Kumagai started, but Ooishi placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head.

''She doesn't need to go back to school. I imagine school will be let out soon, or already has been due to this incident. If not, and she's skipping...well, who could blame her...? Let's not force her back, nha ha ha...''

Ooishi knew it was her best friend, and he could only imagine how she felt. He also blamed himself, as he couldn't do anything for her. He was a former abuse victim himself, but...this poor girl...went through far worse than he ever did, he thought. For a long time now, even before this. And no one had ever done anything for her.

xxxxxxxxxxx

''Rika! Rika, please don't!''

''Shut your mouth, there's no reason for me to keep going on with this world!''

Rika thrust the knife through her throat, collapsing to the ground, choking on blood. She was dead in no time. Hanyuu fell to her side, sobbing.

''Rika...Rika...!''

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The fifth glass had also been her last, due to the fact the wine bottle was empty now and there were no more wine bottles left.

She took the glass and the wine bottle, and slowly crept out the door. She walked till she was far from the house, and then she tossed the bottle and glass to the ground. They shattered into pieces, and she sat down, grabbing one. She cut at one arm till it was covered in blood, and she laughed as if it was a hilarious joke, beginning to cry.

She had just wanted to smash something, but why was she doing this now? She looked at the blood, laughing and crying some more. She buried her head in her knees and continued to sob for what could have been two minutes or two hours.

She finally got up, her blood dry and all the scratches she made on her arm obvious...she thought of a way to explain to Satoko, and couldn't think of anything at the moment...she started for home, too tired to care and wanting sleep.

When she got home, she swallowed and started up the stairs. She looked and saw Satoko still fast asleep, and felt relieved. She went to the bathroom, cleaning the blood off her arm, unable to figure out any way to hide the cuts. She sighed, cleaning the sink a little next, then she turned off the light and went to her bed.

Unable to sleep now, she stared at the ceiling.

_Should I say I went outside during the night for a walk and fell into a bush with sharp thorns and sticks...? Then it should be more than just this arm cut up...should I say only this arm fell in...?_

_I can't just say I broke some glass and then cut my arm up for fun, that's for sure..._

Rika turned to one side, and then before she knew it, started sobbing again. She tried to stop or at least be more quiet, but then...

She felt someone move closer and wrap an arm around her.

''Rika...?''

It was Satoko.

''M-mii, what is it...? Did you get too cold?'' Rika tried to speak, adding a horribly done giggle at the end.

''Rika...I heard you leave...and I followed you.'' After a moment of silence, she continued. ''I saw...''

''A...ah...''

''When you got up, I went through a shortcut and got home first.''

''S-Satoko...''

''Rika? Will you turn around and look at me?''

Rika gulped, and did as Satoko told.

She was startled to see Satoko smiling happily at her. Satoko pulled Rika loser, arms wrapped around her tightly. She rested her head on Rika's shoulder and said, ''It's okay.''

Rika shook, wrapping her arms around Satoko tightly as well, and wailed.

''Sato...ko...Satoko...I'm sorry, I'm...sorry...''

Satoko ran her hand through Rika's hair, repeating the two words over and over again as Rika cried. After a few minutes, she looked at Rika again, still wearing her kind, loving smile, eyes slightly lidded. She cupped Rika's cheeks with both hands and wiped her tears one by one as they fell with her thumbs.

Rika grabbed Satoko's wrists, trying to choke out her name again, and Satoko kissed her nose.

''Don't be sad anymore, it's alright... I'm here for you...''

Rika buried her head into Satoko's chest, and her sobs slowly came to a stop as Satoko held her and ran a hand though her hair again. Satoko didn't really understand why Rika did what she did, and she knew there was a lot of things she didn't understand or know about her. Things she might never understand or know.

But...that wasn't important right now. Rika needed her and was suffering right now, and Satoko had to do what she could. And if Rika wanted to forget this ever happened, Satoko could honor that wish.

Rika was Rika, and Satoko loved and cared about her. She would try to understand her. She wouldn't ask about this if Rika did not want her to. She would be there for Rika and help her feel safe. She would not give up on her.

And so, the two laid together closely and held each other for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: This is really old and I kind of really hate it but I'm posting it I guess. The writing probably absolutely stinks at plenty of points but I don't really know how to improve it even now and I don't want to see it any longer in my doc manager.**_


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